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Website draft 135,000 words Mar.2015

 

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT

ADVANCED SEX

…but didn’t know where or who to ask

 

The ultimate and definitive

Master Book and Advanced Sex Manual for Men

on Male Potency, Penis Size, Sexual Performance, timing

ejaculation, Seduction,.. and explaining women.

 

Sections for women covering what women really want,.. and why,..

and above all, how improvements can be achieved

 

 

Edited by

Dr. M. F. Holmes MD

 

 

 

 

 

"This is one of the most remarkable sex books ever written."

                                                         Dr.D M Trevelyan MD

 

“Male Chauvinist Pigs.”

                                                           Harriet Foreman

 

 

 

Those readers who are in a stable relationship, who are young and want to learn, or who  are growing older and yet want their lives to go on from strength to strength are hereby given  a firm and  binding  new  order.  From  this  moment  on  all restrictions  are  lifted. You are set free and unfettered.  From  now  on you are permitted, by doctor and teacher,  to enjoy  sex, to become  more  sexual  than ever,.. to experiment,  branch out and find the pleasure and security sex  offers.  

 

Flyleaf

 

EVERYTHING

YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT

SEX !

… but didn’t know where to ask

 

Edited by

Dr M F Holmes MD

 

 

"This is one of the most remarkable sex books ever written."

                                                                                 Dr.Alec Confort MD

 

 

"I wish I had written it myself."

                                                                                     Dr.Ruth Westhofer MD

 

   ©

 

B.R.

BabyShoe Publications [Medical]

 

 

 

CONTENTS:

 

 

Acknowledgements

 

Chapter One: What's it all about?

Chapter Two: Why is sex such a big deal?

Chapter Three: Body Image and Body Language

Chapter Four: Myths and Make-believe

 

MALE SECTION

Chapter Five: So What About Gender?

Chapter Six: Sexual Arousal

Chapter Seven: What Women Want

The Gentle Art of Seduction

Chapter Eight: Maximising Male Potency

Advanced Sex

Chapter Nine: The Magical Extras

Penis Enlargement

Chapter Ten: Health Problems

Chapter Eleven: Male Sexual Problems

 

FEMALE SECTION

Chapter Twelve: What Men Want

Chapter Thirteen: The Curse of Low Libido

Chapter Fourteen: The Menopause and its Problems

Chapter Fifteen: Female Sexual Problems

 

Conclusion

 

Foreword

by

Prof. Sir David Mainwaring PhD MSc

[Educationalist and Author]

 

It will be clear to everyone right from the outset that this book is very, very different. In fact, it would not surprise me, if, like myself, you come to rate it as one of the most exceptional books you have ever read.

Here's why.

For most of us the great difficulties with sex are 'who do you learn it from' and 'who can you go to for advice?'  Despite all recent improvements very few academic facilities offer true sex education. Those that do usually offer 'out-of-the-book' courses given by tutors with entrenched ideas of one kind or another and almost no wide personal experience. Indeed, one of the major problems with the whole field is that sex education is a theory course with precious little in the way of a practical curriculum. This mechanical teaching is, arguably, better than nothing, - but not much. Commonly enough the teachers learn more from their students than vice versa.

 

Apart from the few people lucky enough to get even these kinds of courses the huge majority of people learn nothing whatsoever about practical sex. Most people pick up shreds of information from parents, other adults, other kids, or, later on, from their friends and acquaintances. Of course, most of these sources are just as much in the dark so that does not help a lot. From all these isolated bits and dubious pieces the average person forms his or her opinion of sex,.. one of the most important things in the world that will be sure to affect his or her life. There can be no other subject so vital that has been so ignored and deliberately neglected by the education platform. It is a moral judgement upon us all that we have been, hitherto, prepared to send our beloved offspring out into the great, wide world, virtually unprepared in this most significant field; it is a neglect that is deplorable in its shameful and  callous disregard.

 

Thousands of books, magazine articles and newspaper columns must appear every year giving some sort of sexual advice to avid readers. The level of knowledge of the writers being generally so small it is little wonder that what they write is either worthless, misleading or just plain wrong. Furthermore, many of the writers are deeply activated by unsavoury motives,- political, social, moral or religious, - so much so that their material is patently biased.

 

In general, the medical profession's training for doctors is very unhelpful concerning matters of sex. The rigours of their training and supervision superimposed on their own highly-educated but fragile egos and prejudiced opinions makes this so. Additionally, most of them too, have far too little practical sexual experience of their own on which to draw.

 

The same is true almost everywhere you look.  For the fact is very different from the appearance. The appearance is that there is loads of sex about everywhere. And the fact is that in spite of all the talk about sex, when all is said and done, far, far more has been said than done. Excluding the handful of truly promiscuous individuals, - and they are a mere handful, - most people today have had only a scant few sexual partners in a lifetime. Many of those have been in very brief relationships. Many have been separated by long intervals. Very, very few people indeed have had above a dozen such temporary partners. In no way at all does that add up to the experience essential in a good teacher.

And that is why this book is so very different. I know the writer of this book and I can tell you that he not only has the knowledge and the wisdom. He does have the personal experience to go with it. And so do his co-contributors. Between them they have proved unique in producing a data-and-guide book full of wisdom, good sense and practical advice. I compliment them and I have been proud to be asked for this foreword.

D.M.

Cambridge, Mass., USA

 

                                                                                                                                    *  *  *

About the author/editor:

Morgan Fortress-Holmes is an unusual man, - and an extraordinarily unusual doctor. His interest in Sexual Medicine, - though not his personal interest in sex, began when, as a recently qualified British doctor of medicine, he served the obligatory two years in the nation's armed forces. Posted on active service to one of the more remote and dangerous zones of the dwindling British Empire he observed at first hand the problems arising in virile young men totally deprived of normal sexual facilities. Most of those men, he learned, had typically little or no personal experience. He, on the other hand, already had behind him almost ten years of dedicated enjoyment of sex, - which, all his life, had been his favourite hobby. He found the difference more than disconcerting.

 

During the compiling of this book no member of the Editorial Board ever once heard 'MF' proclaim any sexual prowess. However, after being pressed for academic data on one occasion, the board assessed from his estimates, casually supplied, that, at the time of his marriage, his personal experience, if every legal kind of sex was included, probably ranked him as approximately one man in 20 - 25,000. It already extended to over two hundred female partners.

 

Since that time the doctor's professional knowledge and explorations have enabled him to amass a rarely-equaled and almost never surpassed personal spectrum of familiarity with every aspect of sex. Apart from having written some thirty books he was on the Editorial Board of the British Journal of Sexual Medicine for many years. He has run his own elite clinics including in London's fashionable Harley Street where, as a daily event, he encountered the problems of the very rich,.. including entertainment stars, top executives, high-ranking officers and members of both Houses of Parliament. He has done many hundreds of interviews, radio, TV and film appearances.

 

And, he estimates, he has treated over twenty five thousand sexual problems.

 

A male writer can never write properly and fully from a woman's angle. At best he can repeat what he's heard or write down his own often wishful imaginings and interpretations. A doctor like 'MF' Holmes though, with over thirty five years experience in Sexual Medicine has a better chance. For he has been closer to women's truths, has heard more of their stories, and learned more of their feelings than almost anyone.

 

This amount of experience, knowledge and personal acquaintance with his subject, we feel, more than qualifies him  to be Chairman of our Editorial Board and for the task of writing, compiling and editing this book.

 

Signed:

Dr.Jane Swift

Member of the Editorial Board

 

                                                                                                                                    *  *  *

 

Editorial Board:

Dr.M.F.Holmes MD [Chair]. Dr.Jane Swift MD [*]

Dr.Fran Warren MD [*] Dr.Stephen Roles MD

Dr.Dick Richards MD Dr.Richard Silurian MD

Dr.Brian d'Gwent MD Dr.Wellyn Probert MD

[*] = Female members

All board members are qualified British physicians, many of them widely read authors in their own right and well-known personalities in their chosen field.

[ NOTE: Twenty seven other doctors also actively contributed material to the contents of this book.]

 

Each contributor wrote one or more section individually. Readers may notice the medical precision of one, the streak of humour of another, the stressed convictions of yet another. When it came to over-reading, editing and assembling however, all were equally involved. In this way it was hoped to make everything up-to-date and accurate, simple enough for those who like it that way, but academic enough for those who wanted precise details, opinions and clinical background. The human touch of the sympathetic physician was, hopefully, retained, - yet a thread of humour was allowed to run where it chose, - happy sex never being far from good-natured amusement as the prodigious number of sexy jokes asserts.

 

We trust the book will inform, re-assure and amuse you, its readers.

 

                                                                                                                                   *  *  *

NOTE: Other books by members of the Editorial Board have been mentioned in the text and in some cases quoted from. Those that are currently available may be found mentioned in the Sources Lists [See end pages].

 

                                                                                                                                   *  *  *

STATEMENT OF INTENT

The  book  will, throughout, deliberately and unashamedly advocate the maximum enjoyment of sex with the most wholehearted indulgence of  its endless and varied delights. At the same time  it  has,  as a  basic premise, an aim to promote the enormous benefits and safeties  of long-term relationships founded on fidelity and devotion.

The motive for this is not some kind of romantic-idealistic view of sexual philosophy. It is because the vital association of sex and fidelity comprises a biological blue-print for survival in a world growing increasingly overcrowded and hazardous.

 

With this constantly in  mind the  overall  aim  is  to  explain and dismiss myths and nonsense that taint  questions  of  sex, and to achieve a more balanced, mutual and,.. yes, more natural, form of both life and sex as these are available today.

 

                                                                                                                                   *  *  *

Note:

None of our contributors nor the Editorial Board in general has any undeclared interest, financial or otherwise, in any of the products mentioned or recommended in this book.  Inclusion has been earned solely and entirely on grounds of merit and value for money.  Everything included has been within the experience of one or more contributors and has additionally had to satisfy all other board members.

 

                                                                                                                                  *  *  *

 

Statement to readers

 

The information contained in this book is not routinely disseminated to the public. It is made available to you solely  as a result of your personal request either as a health professional or a seriously interested student of its content matter. It is not to be construed in any way to be advertising, labelling or promotion of any products or techniques mentioned or any theories held by the authors.  It is not the intent of the authors, publishers or distributors to endorse or recommend any of the claims or techniques reported but merely to apprise you of the data and of the status of existing research in this area.

 

The use or employment of any technique, substance or combination of substances referred to in this book, any applications thereof in any manner, or the encouragement of others to use or employ such substances or acts, could contravene legal proscription in certain jurisdictions. Further, there being absent any tests or evaluations upon the efficacy of the use or employment of substances or applications which meet current standards of regulatory authorities, all materials or combinations and their applications as herein reported are to be regarded as strictly anecdotal.

 

Results from any use or practice herein reported contain no warranty of fact and the authors, publishers and distributors specifically enjoin any person from duplicating any act or consuming any substance described herein.

 

The content herein does not constitute any endorsement or recommendation by the author, publishers or distributors who each and all hereby disclaim responsibility for results which may ensue from replication of acts or ingestion of substances herein described and incorporate this caveat in each and every paragraph as though incorporated as part thereof.

 

                                                                                                                                  *  *  *

 

 

Chapter One

 

    What's it all about? To begin at the beginning

What's it all about,.. this darned sex business? Wouldn't we be better off without it? Why bother? Look at all the trouble it causes. Some people say that it, not power or even the love of money, is the root of all evil. These are all fair but superfluous questions. Sex is here. We're all designed for it. And we must all take one or other course of action in relation to it. That is biological. So let's look at the biology of it all,.. for biology dictates so much of what we are and what we do.

 

Human  nature they say, is the reason most people behave like animals! The real  reason is that that is just what we are. Whatever the noble edifice  into which  we try to build ourselves up from our foundation, that foundation  is  and remains entirely animal. Deep down, our motivations, our  behaviour patterns and our integral biochemistry follow the evolved pattern  of  millions  of years of animal characteristics. We share  all  the  basic characteristics of life with all other living animals. Such however has been the unsurpassed success of our species, human-beings  or  Homo sapiens sapiens, that that very success can blind us to the extent that we easily overlook our long, animal past. Overlooking it does it make it go away.

 

It  is  essential  when  considering  our personal likes and dislikes, our wants and  desires,  to say nothing of our responses and impulses, to remember that man is first and foremost an animal, second a primate or ape,  and third, that he is a predatory ape. All this means that he is a  very 'high' animal, indeed so far the ‘highest’ evolved animal of all. But  he  is  still, basically, an  animal; and, as such, he is filled with animal instincts that emerge  in  many influential ways.

 

    The background

Man's evolution up to around ten thousand  years ago was to the level of being a wandering, gregarious, omnivorous  hunter-gatherer. In other words men moved in nomadic groups, eating everything they could hunt down, find already growing or steal. Biologically  speaking man remains this, a killing animal  of extremely high intelligence and adaptability geared to being competitive and  dominant.

 

Then, ten thousand or so years ago man started to learn agriculture  which enabled him not only to stay in one place where he could  build  long-term dwellings, but frequently gave him a surplus of food. That,  for the first time, created the phenomenon of leisure. From these primitive   beginnings  society has  developed  along  the  lines  of increasing  discovery, knowledge  and technology.  We can use drugs, visit  other planets, split atoms, construct thinking machines. In the last  millennium, society and technology have evolved at an immense and ever-accelerating  pace.  Man  himself, however, has evolved more or less not at all.  Society  is modern  and technological. Man is still a predatory primate,  a  hunter-gatherer,  a fundamentally competitive killer-ape. There  has been nowhere near time enough in the last ten millennia for the  exceedingly slow process of evolution to advance man at the same rate as he has advanced his technology.

 

This  sounds  and  is a grim picture. But it is an instructive picture. By understanding this situation, we can comprehend our  own  conduct in many ways and consequently begin to influence it. One such way becomes instantly apparent,.. and helpful to the principles of this book.

 

    The purpose of sex

To  be  best  at hunting and killing, gathering and stealing, amongst the most useful  things a man can have is a secure home lair to return to, to hide and rest in. We are evolved with that possession of a home-den base as  a  prime advantage.

 

It works in sex too. For man to have a secure,  happy  home  in which his huge sexual desires are both focused and  satisfied,  accords with this great urge.

Man the animal, then, is geared to plenty of sex and also to a secure base. It follows that the varied  sexual  repertoire  within  the long-term home-based relationship is biologically natural and  desirable. This inclination  is long-established in the genetic background.  Anything which confronts this background, for example, celibacy, homosexuality, restrictive puritanism,..  is biologically abnormal,.. and  is  doomed  to eventual biological failure. Promiscuity, though a natural urge, also produces its own problems and, as we shall see, much conflict with the desired optimum life-style results.

 

The  male  primate,  including  the  human  male, being instinctively promiscuous by nature, does  not naturally tend to go off and leave his females accessible  to other males. In human society we break this rule. Males do go off hunting, gathering, or, nowadays, to fight wars,.. or to the office   to   work.  The potentially  available  females  thus  remain 'unsupervised' as well as unprotected for long periods. Their vulnerability spells danger to the  species, its society and its biological success rate. Solutions to this problem had to be found and developed,.. and they were. They are the joint qualities of love and pair-bonding.

 

                                                                                                                          *  *  *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Two

 

    Why is sex such a big deal? Love, sex and pair-bonding

 

Pair-bonding   is   the   long-term  association,  the  partnership  in everything, of a male and female of the species. It is not peculiar to humans,.. several other animals do it. Swans especially are famous for pair-bonding  with  total  fidelity to each other for their entire joint lives.

 

In   human   society  pair-bonding  has  become  a  highly  successful  biological norm. The male can leave the home or den and go to work, or  hunting. He feels assured of his wife's or partner's loyalty. She retains her  husband's or mate's support and protection; she also knows he will return  to  her  and  their children.  Breakdowns  in  this  mutually beneficial arrangement are fundamentally dangerous to the success of the family unit and to its individual members. If she is not loyal and  is  promiscuous during his absence,.. if he does not return to protect as a prime  motivating  factor, the entire unit is threatened to its disadvantage. One  has only  to consider societies in which   family  fragmentation  has become commonplace, - UK and USA being two prime examples, - to be aware of its disastrous consequences.

 

Prominent  amongst  the  ways  nature  has  achieved  the occurrence and substantiation  of successful  pair-bonding are the associated phenomena of sexual  attraction  and love. There can no longer be any serious doubt that both of  these  properties  are now genetically pre-determined as propensities  in the human  pattern. In other words they have become 'written  into'  the  genes.

 

Man has also adopted  continuous breeding. There are cyclical variations in the breeding pattern but, in general, humans have no set breeding season. For them sex can be any time. This too  is  not  accidental  but  highly advantageous,.. and is consequently developed to a marked degree.  A  fixed season could threaten successful pair-bonding as, if the housebound female  were,  for long intervals, sexually unapproachable there would be correspondingly reduced  pressure on the male to return to her rather than seeking other partners.

 

There  are  vitally  important lessons to be learned from these simple yet all-powerful biological  features.  Love,  for  example, matters immensely.  Falling  in  love  matters too though it is really little  more  than  superficial sexual attraction.  But that is the essential start point. Sexual reproduction, after all, is the genetic aim which is all important  in  continuing the  species.  Sexual attraction raises the possibility  of  a  long-term pair  being  formed.  From  then on both sex and, increasingly,  love,  not  only  create  the  bonding  potential but continually foster and strengthen it.

 

So,  two equally significant factors arise. First, everything possible must  be  done  to nurture the growth of love into every aspect of the relationship.  Second,  the  eternal ability of sex to attract, soothe, please,  and  sustain the continuous increase of love assumes major importance.  Sex  and  love  are vitals. They are everyday essentials. Neither  must be left to chance, neither must be neglected,.. they are both  far  too  fundamental necessities.  Both, and equally, must  be  cosseted, encouraged,  fostered,  developed,  expanded as an enjoyable life-long duty.  Therein  lies  strength and happiness. It is lamentable that so many 'experts' have failed to observe this simple truth!

However, in matters of sex and particularly in sexual medicine  there  have been too  many experts doing little more than projecting  their  own  sexual tendencies  as  if they were empirical truths.  Some,  promoting their preferred licentious promiscuity, have argued  in favour  of the excesses concealed behind the facade of the permissive society. The result in terms of wrecked marriages, dismayed children  and  diseased genitalia has been enormous. Others, terrified of their own sexuality, have sought to suppress everything from sexual freedoms to 'dirty' pictures. The resulting losses in terms of frustrated lives, frigid relationships and decaying egos have been colossal. Yet others are hopelessly  confused  into dichotomous argument. On the one hand they  will say sex is wonderful, gentle, tender and beautiful and must at all  costs  not be enjoyed or even seen by children; on the other hand they  will  argue that sex is foul, depraved, disgusting and evil,.. and must be restricted to behaviour within the holy estate of matrimony. What  nonsense  all  these  views  make  when stripped of their wordy rhetoric.  They  are  a  warning  about  taking either dedicated doctors' or bee-in-the-bonnet theorists' ideas too seriously.

 

In Sexual Medicine there is a further, major built-in danger. In general it is believed otherwise, but it is simply  not  the case that doctors as a whole know much more about sex than  the rest of the population. They have more knowledge of the anatomy,  the  physiology, the bio-chemistry,.. but seldom do they know much more about  the  complex emotional aspects of sex. Furthermore, many doctors find it impossible  to  dissociate  their  own  personal  deviations, biases, confusions,  religions,  upbringing and hang-ups,.. which are every bit as great  as in other people. It is always hard for the blind to lead the blind.

 

So  important, so complex, and so hedged around with confusions is the whole subject of sex that it is one gigantic hazard zone. Boredom can destroy  it.  Problems  of great power beset it. Miseries long, varied and  erosive  derive from  it. That is the bad news. The good news is that  almost  all  the bad things can  be  prevented,  most  can be delayed, the vast majority can be  cured.  If only  we  could  eradicate the mythical nonsense surrounding the subject, we would be a long way along the road to solving the problems.

 

                                                                                                                                      *  *  *

 

 

Chapter Three

 

    Body Image and Body Language

 

    Body image

The overall view an individual has of appearance [shape, colour, posture, clothing etc.] is spoken of as the Body Image [BI].  It is one of the greatest sources of human dissatisfaction and Body Image Problems [BIP] are practically universal.  This is the explanation for the vast industry geared to improving image,.. dyes to colour the hair, plastic surgery, hair curlers and straighteners, slimming diets, corsetry, high-lift shoes, padded bras, fancy spectacles, haute couture and efforts to achieve penis enlargement.

Many BIPs are associated with primary or secondary sexual characteristics.  Effectively to improve these is to enhance one's sexual image and therefore one’s attractiveness to the opposite sex.  Attention to other features is seldom effective and is more a declaration of under-confidence and low self-esteem. Consequent upon this there are a few points of advice concerning BI improvement:-

 

1. Always concentrate on sexual characteristics.

2. Recognise the biologically proven factors. At a distance men notice the bulge of a hip/bottom far more than long tresses or fashionable dresses.  Close up they are more affected by eye movements than either of these.  Women notice carriage and bearing more than baldness or a smart suit.

3. Don’t create an image that will be hard to extend into more intimate situations [Wigs come off, padded bras too, and corsets can doom the wearers].

 

                                                                                                                                       *  *  *

    Body Language

Just like other animals, humans signal to each other in many other ways than obvious speech communication.  One of these ways is known as 'body-language.'  It is a fundamental biological phenomenon, though little known, and often not recognised.  Nevertheless, everyone does it, largely unconsciously, most of the time.  There seems to be an innate desire, at least occasionally and briefly, to escape our sophisticated environment and return to simpler, even animal, places, actions and behaviour patterns.  [Why else does a mathematics professor spend hundreds of pounds flying thousands of miles in a vast supersonic machine,.. to spend his holiday on a beach collecting shells?]

To gain even a superficial understanding of body language, given and received, is to gain an additional, highly effective attribute in the conduct of sexual pursuit and pleasure.

Some body language is either inborn or so instinctive that it appears so.  For example, a person invariably folds his or her hands with the same thumb uppermost, but can't say which without trying it.  Other actions are very obviously inborn.  Examples include the suck action and the pursed-lips welcome/kissing signal that persists from it into adult life and behaviour.  Similarly, even babies who are deaf-blind from birth and therefore cannot learn such, will smile, frown and cry.  World-wide, on meeting, humans  swiftly flick up the eyebrows in a signal we share with other primates.

 

Other signals are either acquired or developed from inborn tendencies and are almost world-wide. Stamping feet and showing teeth in anger are universal responses.

Sexually associated body language is of two main types though there are overlaps.  These are gender signals and overtly sexual signals.  Apart from those that are plainly obvious gender signals the list will include:-

Male:                                                

      Jutting chin Thick neck

      Sprawled legs Deep voice

      Firm, narrow hips Angular shoulders

      Arms away from chest Broad shoulders/chest/waist

      Trousers bulge Slim buttocks

      Hairiness Pot belly

 

Female:

        Less jutting chin Thinner neck

        Legs together or twined Higher voice

        Crotch-gap Smoothly rounded shoulders

        Fleshy lips Narrow shoulders/chest/waist

        Arms near chest Smoother belly

    Wider hips         Hairlessness

             

The person who emphasises these aspects can strongly influence the impression of themselves on, and the consequent response in, other humans.  Other added refinements enhance the image.  When passing closely males twist towards one another whereas females twist away.  Males stand aggressively, feet apart; females keep legs together and feet parallel or toes-in.  Although passing fashions may temporarily alter things men normally have heavy shoes or boots, women have small, tighter-fitting shoes.  Males cross legs at the knee, women more often at the ankle or by twining.  Men appear in public with cigarettes or pipe; feminine females, never.  Men have trousers and many pockets.  Women have skirts, few pockets and handbags.

 

There are occasional anomalies.  These are very obvious in the maleness signals of receding hair-line and the potbelly look.  In nature the desirable, successful survivor and therefore the most permanently desirable mate, is mature, pot-bellied and balding.  These are very ancient and very strong body signals to receptive females.  In recent years this success-image has clashed with a fashionable [and temporary] age-image.  The result has been a colossal surge in methods to hide baldness and trim waist lines.  Such strenuous and costly efforts will only affect a smaller, some might say, less desirable spectrum of females.  The deeper, more primitive appeal of the receding grey hair and the ample middle is far more successful over a far wider spectrum.

 

Actual sexual signals are designed to find, attract, arouse and bond a mate.  After early 'cruising' usually in groups, individual contacts are made and steady separation from the group occurs.  Group activities,.. females leading with giggles, shrieks, face-hiding and carefully not noticing the males,.. males following, scrapping, posturing and taunting,... then come to an end. Group activities like dances and formal balls intended to speed up the process  become of lessening appeal.  Individual relationships commence and steadily grow.

 

Certain signals are deliberate or instinctive welcoming signs:  

Making eye contact

Holding eye contact

Small touch movements [slightly longer handshakes and cheek kisses]

Standing a little closer

Smiling, especially with mouth not tightly closed

Eyes lingering on body parts other than face

Vigorous head nodding in agreement

Sitting facing  and without barrier signals

More frequent glances to check response

More hand gestures than usual

Eyebrows raised

Lip moistening

Agreement [often merely simulated] to avoid clashes

Deliberate eroticism during dancing

 

Signs of progress in a sexual relationship are marked, and can be recognised by the sequence of increasingly intimate contact increasingly permitted and reciprocated. If these do not occur they are a sign that one or other partner is resisting progress. If they do occur they signal consent to progress.

The usual approximate sequence is,.. eye-to-body looking, eye-to-eye contacting, specifically voice to individual speech, disguised ['accidental'] touching, undisguised touching, more intimate touching [arm, shoulders, waist], head-to-head approach, mouth-to-head contact, mouth-to-mouth contact, hand-to-head contact, hand-to-body contact. This is all discussed in greater detail elsewhere.

 

Humans, being continuous breeders rather than seasonal, exercise body language of a sexual nature more than most higher animals.  Even the reasons for different coat-buttoning of the sexes have deeper significance than most ever imagine.  Throughout life there is a pattern.  The extreme love-bond of infancy with all its cuddling and stroking gives way to reduced contact and eventual departure from the intimate family unit; later, with a partner, all is gradually resumed as in the sequence above.  Even orgasm, virtually unknown in all but humans, is pleasure-yielding only as a biological route to pair-bonding.  An understanding of body language in all its varieties is vital to the sexual expert.

 

                                                                                                                                       *  *   *

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