The section below is free-to-read.
To purchase the rest of the book please use the PayPal button on each book
[Price: £5 (GBP) or €7 (euros) or $8 (USD)]
email < [email protected] > giving your address and personal details.
The book will then be emailed direct to your Inbox.
The Doctor's Book of
SEXUAL SUCCESS TIPS
The Secrets of
How You can Know the Most
and Do the Best
Drs.Dilys and Ridgard Wales MDs
How YOU Can Achieve
Sexual Health and Peak Performance
"Simply packed with useful information"
What can possibly be new about sex? Surely it has been known about and written about until everyone is sick of it,.. for years? Surely by now everyone knows everything about it? Surely there can't be anything new to say?
Oh how wrong that all is. Yes, it has been widely written about. Yes, there have been some prolific and spectacular writers. But most has been written in glossy magazines whose job it is to sell copies and make profit. And much has been written by fringe characters, self-styled experts, or those with some particular axe to grind.
The sad fact is that, in the privacy of the Consulting Room, there are still and repeatedly heard comments that demonstrate the pitiful ignorance, the confusion and the mixture of prejudice and disinformation that comprises contemporary so-called sexual knowledge. Within the last three months before completing this book the present writer has heard such statements as:-
1. 'I found out I was impotent because one of my testicles is lower than the other.' (NOTE: One invariably is that way).
2. 'Well, of course, everybody knows that self-abuse (!) tires you and makes you weak.' (NOTE: It doesn't).
3. 'I'll never be able to orgasm as I don't have a large enough clitoris.' (NOTE: Clitoral size has no relationship to orgasm).
4. 'If I have a prostate operation it has to be good-bye to sex forever.' (NOTE: Not correct).
5. 'Everyone has to be either a male or a female, don't they? I mean you can't not be one or the other?' (NOTE: Not true, plenty are neither,.. or both!).
Remarks such as these, all of which came from well educated members of the higher social strata, and all of which embody fundamental inaccuracies, reveal a need for a wider knowledge that will free people from the fetters of ignorance.
So, it is established that there is still ignorance and a need for more knowledge. There still can't be anything new, can there? Answer,.. depending on how you look at it, most certainly yes. Of course, there are no new sexual organs. Of course, there are no new sexual positions,.. eastern books on sex already list several hundred, many of them differing by only the direction of the eyes. And of course, there are no new hormones, or nerves, or muscles. That said, however, and there are always new factors in the sense of new waves of thought, outside influences, and the changing climate of public opinion within any society. And that is where there is something new and vital today.
Sex has become over-exploited,.. used to sell everything from cars to shoes and to soft drinks. It has been polluted by this superficial attitude. It has been vilified by cohorts of sexual bigots and the 'Thou Shalt Not' brigade. Often it as been taught as being evil and dirty. Elsewhere it has been proclaimed as the human heritage to be indulged by everyone, everywhere with a frantic, abandoned profligacy. Free love, furtive methods; sex at every age, for all; deviant practices, orgies, and group activities,.. these were the messages of the sixties and seventies. Then, in the eighties, the arrival of herpes as an unheeded warning, followed by AIDS as a brutal reality, curtailed the recent promiscuities. So now, we are left with people brought up familiar with sex and the concept of its freedom suddenly finding themselves confronted by the wall of 'Thou Had Probably Better Not.' This conflict, impinging on the morass of sexual ignorance described above, is amplified and diversified into an even greater need for guidance,.. into a new and successful direction. Happily that new direction is readily available. It has been there all the time, almost as if it were waiting for the time of need, when humans would require a defence against the scourge of disease epidemics.
Nowadays there is no safe sex except with a known and trusted partner and within the confines of a secure relationship. What is new is the shift to a totally different approach. Mother Nature and Old Father Evolution between them have long discovered and therefore favoured the biologically successful, long-term, one-man-one-woman relationship. This, the so-called pair-bond, has proved in nature to be a very successful human society form. It works; it succeeds; it confers strength, safety and security in a world growing more rather than less hazardous. At a period when, in an increasingly overpopulated world beset by multi-pollution, diminishing resources, with almost a hundred wars being fought at the same time, and the sweeping onset of the most merciless pandemic of all time, the greatest survival hope is the secure, human pair-bond.
But it has a drawback. The pair-bond is restrictive. It lacks the variety so long encouraged by nature. It requires discipline and control. Without doubt the capacity for that control comes from knowledge; the knowledge of how to have endless, exciting sex in every variety,.. but always with the same partner. That is what is bound to happen now. That is what is new. That is what this book is about.
This is an infected skin condition, mostly of the face and shoulders, and mostly in adolescents. It varies from the occasional tiny boil or pustule (zits, whiteheads, teen-age spots) to a coalescing multiplicity of angry red purulent areas, lumps and scars. The latter may be more or less permanent and disfiguring. Much distress can be caused to the young adult, and shows up as psychosexual problems and difficulty in forming social relationships of all kinds. It is important to realise that there is often a strong family inclination to acne which cannot be totally prevented. It certainly has nothing to do with dirtiness, bad habits, masturbation or constipation.
What you can do:-
(a) Cut your fat intake to no more than 15% of your diet
(b) Cut out chocolates
(c) Use an antiseptic soap, wash often with it, rinse well and rub dry with a towel.
(d) Step up your fresh fruit, vegetables and wholemeal bread intake.
(e) Take plenty of vitamins, especially A and C. (See Vitamins section).
(f) Get sunlight, preferably natural, on your face. (Ultra violet light kills bacteria). Always use a suitable sun-screen.
2. If you have it already.
(a) Use a good quality skin antiseptic
(b) Step up your hygiene and your face washing frequency.
(c) Seek medical advice for (i) medicated creams and ointments
(ii) Antibiotics to control severe episodes and prevent recurrences.
(iii) Retinoid therapy.
(d) Because of the way they adjust hormone levels some contraceptive pills will often improve acne in young women. This may be an added good reason for using them?
3. Dealing with scars.
When the acne has died out, if you are left with embarrassing scars later on in your twenties and thirties, these can often be improved by abrasive or laser plastic surgery, during which the scars are literally 'sand-papered' down.
4. Finally, remember acne virtually never attacks those who are not sexually very active and virile. The fact that you have it promises well for your future sexual abilities.
Affairs (Love Affairs/Extramarital relationships).
Affairs are a natural sequence of events in human relationships by virtue of our animal reproductive programming. Natural, biological behaviour however has been declared immoral in contemporary society. Yet, to biology, morality is clearly unnatural. On matters of monogamy nature and morality are thus endlessly in conflict. On the broad scale nature will triumph. There are arguments for and against affairs.
1. They provide the one thing a person can seldom find in a stable relationship, namely variety.
2. Many people learn a great deal from their affairs and become far better lovers including within their stable relationships.
3. Relationships that survive the discovery of affairs, are often stronger than ever.
4. Not all affairs are the result of promiscuity. Some are just temporary replacements/substitute and act as safety releases.
5. An affair can often raise personal stimulation levels and make the marital sex (and love) better (Note: sudden improvement in long-standing sexual relationships may be being caused by one or other partner having an affair).
6. The affair brings change, excitement and self-respect at achievement especially in older age-groups.
1. Likely to incur one of the most powerful, if irrational, emotional responses known to man. The consequences of uncontrolled jealousy may be misery, suicide, savage retaliation.
2. Inconvenience,.. much plotting, planning, lying and expense.
3. Time consuming,.. travelling, time off work, time away from home. Domestic sex is more easily fitted into the day-to-day routine.
4. Costly,.. hotels, journeys, gifts and entertaining.
5. There is a need to create and maintain an image with a love-affair partner, whereas the regular partner knows the truths.
6. Women especially equate sex and sexual affairs with love, whereas love is often absent from the male participant. This leads women to rationalise that their affairs must mean they are in love. They may jeopardise more important relationships as a result.
Age and Sex
Failure to recognise that progressing age can, does and eventually will affect the sex life is a serious mistake. It is an equally serious mistake to fail to recognise that not all the changes come early, some may not even be inevitable and certainly not all are bad. In short, age is pretty sure to reduce the quantity of sexual activity, but it is also pretty sure to increase the quality of that activity well into the later decades.
Along with other well-known ageing characteristics, those specific to the sexual system include:-
1. Reducing testosterone level (in male and female)
2. Reducing intensity of libido stimulants.
3. Compensatory attention to detail.
4. Search for supportive factors.
5. Reducing oestrogen output.
6. Vaginal dryness
7. Breast atrophy
8. Lower angle of erection (horizontal at about 50-55 years)
9. Multiple orgasm potential increases in female, decreases in male.
10. Onset of erection is delayed and may need several minutes of intense stimulation to achieve.
11. Duration of erection shortened (60 minutes at twenty, 5 minutes at 80)
12. Testicular elevation and engorgement are less obvious.
13. Pre-ejaculation emission reduced or absent
14. Plateau stage of coitus (See: Orgasm) can be much longer and is often liable to considerable voluntary prolongation.
15. Recovery phase, or refractory period of excitement (See: Orgasm) extended.
16. Ejaculation tends to be as a single stage rather than in several spurts.
17. Volume of semen decreases as does the force of its expulsion.
18. Detumescence is rapid, the penis often subsiding within a minute of orgasm.
19. Beneficial need for greater ancillary stimulation in both sexes.
20. Increased ability to control/delay/hasten orgasms (male and female)
21. Increased skill and experience.
22. Reduction in inhibitions, shame/shyness encourages additional (or advanced) sexual practices (See: Arousal).
Many of the less desirable characteristics can be delayed, reduced or supplemented by RT and HRT. These, Regenerative Therapy (RT) for both sexes and Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) mostly (but not entirely) for women are dealt with under those particular headings, but it is true to say that while the beneficial results of items on the above list tend to persist, the unwanted symptoms are much helped by both RT and HRT.
Every possible practical way of continuing sexual activity well into later years has been covered by Dr. Richard Silurian in his book 'Age and Sex.' (See Sources List: Appendix). This is a comprehensive guide to high-profile sex in middle and older age groups. It is a very advanced book from an international expert, and is strongly recommended to anyone over forty for its refreshing attitude and downright practical approach.
Advice on sexual matters is easy to get. Anyone will offer it if asked,.. often if not. Trouble is, it is usually based on an equal lack of knowledge and experience. Lots of books and magazine articles too, are less authoritative then they sound. Even going to the doctor is commonly not much help. Few doctors have any formal training in sexual medicine. Doctors and sex advisers in particular, are recognised within their own professions as being all too inclined to let their personal concepts of religion, upbringing etc., and their personal sexual likes, dislikes and experiences influence what should be their exact and impartial advice. Agony aunts probably have an equally high success rating.
If you need advice:-
1. Go to a known specialist in the subject. (Your doctor can refer you), or,
2. Go to a special sexual therapy unit. (Your doctor can advise you).
3. If it's all too private for that, there is a professional association that can tell you of an affiliated expert in a town just far enough away for you to remain anonymous. (See Sources List. Appendix).
4. If you can't face even that, and prefer the privacy of corresponding about it, there are highly ethical Advisory Bureaux like the Lady Charles Bureau you can write to. (See: Sources list. Appendix). These, for a small fee, will pose your enquiry to their panel of experts then send you, in detail, their reply and advice. This is a facility well worth considering.
There is so much confusion concerning AIDS in the mind of the man-in-the-street that one could be forgiven for thinking it might have been deliberately created,.. which indeed it might! Despite the vast amount of information repeatedly disseminated, mostly by state-owned facilities, the average person's knowledge is restricted to a few points.
The brutal fact is that AIDS is here. It is scattered everywhere amongst us. It is a potential mega-killer. And in many places it is utterly out of control.
What is AIDS?
It stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. A syndrome is nothing more than a group of symptoms and physical signs that can be grouped together as a recognisable clinical condition or diagnosis. Acquired means you got it or caught it somewhere rather than being born with it or developing it yourself. The human body is subjected, day in day out, to endless risks from outside influences ranging from chemical poisons to infectious bacteria. It therefore needs its resistance or immune system comprised of an extremely complex and efficient collection of protective mechanisms. These prevent or combat the infecting organisms thereby rendering the person 'immune' to them. If this immune system is impaired or lacking in some way, it is spoken of as being deficient.
What do you catch?
You catch a chemical,.. of a kind. But it is a very special kind of chemical. It is a virus, which is a chemical which when it enters certain kinds of living hosts, behaves as if it too were in some way 'alive.' At first a mere few of the host's cells are infiltrated. Later this number may vastly increase. The health and function of the cells is generally curtailed and they may die. If a large number of the cells of a vital tissue or type die off, the general health of the host may no longer be sufficient for survival. Disease and even death will then follow unless the damaging trend can be reversed.
Because the virus that causes (or is, at least, closely associated with) AIDS affects the immune system cells of humans it is commonly called HIV. This does not mean, as many seem to think, 'H-4' in Roman numerals. It is the abbreviation for Human Immuno-Virus. Someone who is carrying HIV is said to be 'HIV-Positive.'
What happens next?
Usually not very much for a while. In many cases, having entered some of the cells, the virus becomes dormant there. Though remaining alive and well, it doesn't proliferate and spread. This quiescent interval may last weeks, months or even years. While it continues the patient is spoken of as a carrier, but does not develop active disease. Unfortunately many are nevertheless infectious. If so, those who are ignorant of the time bomb within them may well pass on their infection to lovers and loved-ones.
Eventually however, the virus is liable to become active and start to infiltrate more and more cells. The integrity of the essential cells of the protective immune system is often damaged beyond repair when the HIV takes up residence. The result of this is that the body is no longer properly screened from other invading organisms such as bacteria. These too start to enter the body and take hold. The more common organisms, by sheer weight of numbers, naturally tend to be the first to enter and in the largest numbers. Bacteria that normally live, fairly harmlessly, in the body, start to multiply, go out of control and cause symptoms. Some that are often to be found even on a healthy skin, penetrate into the hair follicles and set up infections there. The result is a series of spots or boils, small at first, but which increase in size and number until an entire crop of pus-discharging ulcers form. Bacteria in the mouth also invade the tissues and outbreaks of trench-mouth, streptococcal sore throats, or other forms of stomatitis become common. Abscesses develop in the ears. The eyes and nose, always harbouring bacteria from the environment, also become infected and purulent. Elsewhere the fingernails can become surrounded by whitlows. Bacteria from the bowels establish infections both there and in the neighbouring urinary bladder. The vagina too is easily exposed as is the male foreskin, both becoming the focus of serious and damaging infection.
Within the body other viruses and inhaled bacteria attack the lungs first causing dangerous inflammation and then pneumonia. Infections, over a period of weeks or months, often spill over into the bloodstream and the resulting septicaemia spreads the infection throughout the body including, with immense danger to life, to the kidneys, liver and brain.
The general ill-health causes anaemia, loss of appetite, pallor, weight-loss and profound weakness. The patient goes downhill, often rapidly, until the accumulating toxins and the utterly overwhelmed body resistance bring about total collapse and death.
Whatever the sequence, AIDS is here and could potentially kill millions. It is a glum picture.
Where is it now?
Official hand-outs are coy about the present high-risk areas. USA, Central Africa and Western Europe are danger spots. San Francisco and New York are highly infiltrated. Mexico has a twenty five per cent homosexual exposure. Other black spots are Haiti, St.Lucia and the Dominican Republic. In Uganda there is a growing twenty per cent infection rate and they expect a quarter of a million deaths in the next few years. In Nairobi the hotel-prostitute carrier rate is around horrifying ninety per cent.
In Europe the four worst affected countries are France, Germany, UK and Italy, in that order. In UK in late 2010 there were an estimated 25,000 known cases, one quarter of them women. Two thirds of UK. cases are in London and the S.East. WHO experts estimated 50,000 carriers in the USA. alone in 2000 and an increase to around three million ten years from then, with one third progressing to actual AIDS.
These figures are really based on those issued,.. or leaked, some two or three years ago. Although highly alarming it is suspected that the figures may already have been exceeded.
How do you get it?
It is believed that AIDS can only be caught from another person. That other person must be either a carrier or actually suffering clinical symptoms. And contact needs to be very intimate. What has to happen is referred to as a transmission of body fluids. Theoretically this means anything fluid,.. urine, blood, faeces, saliva, semen. In effect however, it has to be a fluid in which there are active components of the HIV, usually in or from infected cells also present in the fluid.
This is not the only difficulty. Most viruses, and the HIV is one such, find the human skin to be a near impenetrable barrier. They need an easier route. Direct access to the body via a wound is easiest for them. A second best is to be deposited somewhere on the mucous membrane, the wet, pink, 'inner skin' that lines body orifices like the mouth, rectum and vagina.
From this data, the methods of entry can be deduced. Blood from an infected person can be put directly into the blood of a patient receiving a transfusion. Many hundreds of deaths already resulted from this before blood banks donors were adequately screened. Inadvertent exchange of blood is a disastrously common likelihood in drug-consumer communities. Seriously addicted junkies grow notoriously incautious in their hygiene measures. To them, the important thing is to get the next dose in as fast as possible. Nothing else matters. So, if a group is to share a supply, say of heroin, the same injection needle may well be used, passed from hand to hand. It is the perfect transmission weapon.
Semen is also a suitable medium for carrying HIV. The vaginal mucous membrane can be fairly easily penetrated especially if repeatedly exposed. However as, during its natural function, it is normally subjected to exposure from outside infections, it has a considerable protective resistance. The rectum is less well equipped as its penetration is not visualised in nature. Consequently male homosexual activities involving penetration of another infected male rectum are highly likely to result in the spread of HIV. Small wounds, cracks or fissures are common around vaginal, oral and rectal orifices as a result of other infections, scratching and so on. If present, these too vastly increase the chances of spread by providing a gap in the defences. The sexual route of transmission is therefore possible in any sexual penetration irrespective of the sexes of the participants. Homosexuals in contact with androgynous or bisexual individuals (colloquially known as AC/DC) may spread infections to them. They, in turn, may contact other males, 'free' females or their own long-term female partners. In this way heterosexual spread has much increased in recent years. It remains, however, a less likely hazard especially in long-term secure relationships thus comprising a strong recommendation for such relationships.
Much research has been carried out on other methods of spread. Facts are few and data supplied is not always reliable. For example, unsterilised acupuncture needles are, like hypodermic needles, known vehicles of transmission. Authorities, some of them medical, who disapprove of unorthodox medical techniques, have blamed this route as fervently as those who are members of the anti-drug lobby blame misuse of dirty syringes. Their fears are genuine even if dubiously motivated. But there have been political trade-offs. Some have kept silent about the fear that could be incurred in the population in relation to insect transfer. It has long been known that some insect pests transmit blood-borne diseases. Body lice can transmit fevers,.. mosquitoes transmit malaria,.. and mosquitoes can thus, at least in theory, transfer the HIV from one of its hosts to the next. There is concern that the virus may remain active for surprisingly long periods even outside of a host. Virus spread by 'droplet infection' as with the common cold can also not be totally excluded to everyone's satisfaction.
Research has already detected AIDS in the new-born infants of infected mothers. Other researchers are working on transmission via breast milk and even saliva. Organisational reassurance is, at the very least, suspect. Much is at stake and, currently, even the subsequent discovery of transmission via perspiration, say from one sweaty hand to another during handshake, is far from permanently excluded. The advice is clear,.. take extreme caution.
What can you do about it?
The blunt truth is that once you have got it you can do little more than pray. Despite the investment of millions of dollars, man hours and high-tech, there is nothing, even on the distant horizon, that promises cure of those infected with HIV. The best hope is that after infection it may lie dormant for many years. Once it goes active however, possible death is a looming reality. And the death will usually be slow, insidious, degrading and painful. Once started patients face the downward path through infections, debility and social ostracism until they die a wretched and painful death from wasting and weakness.
The reality is that current medical management centres around preventing spread and alleviating unpleasant symptoms while giving support during the later stages.
No chemical or pharmaceutical agent yet produced has anything much more than a limited effect. There is no curative antibiotic. As yet there is no vaccine that protects. There is not even any great prospect of anything turning up soon. At present, the word cure does not even rightfully belong in the vocabulary!
The solution then, pro tem, does not depend upon cure. It relies totally on prevention. And that means avoiding contact of all kinds with all affected people. This raises a serious collision between the instinctive ostracism of society and the more humanitarian inclinations. Some parents have been reluctant to allow their children to attend schools where AIDS suffering children, or merely the so far uninfected children of known AIDS cases, are pupils. Many people are equally reluctant to frequent restaurants where waiters may be homosexual. Similarly in relation to contact with other areas where there tend to be substantial numbers of homosexuals,.. show business, hair dressers, haute couture and so on. There is no doubt that certain groups,.. junkies, black people and homosexuals have experienced a hardening of attitudes towards them, attributable to the AIDS risk. Each individual must decide personally where his or her line must be drawn between humanitarian motives, the sheer practicalities of living and the fear or risk of infection.
In some areas however, the danger is so great that there should be no hesitation in scrupulous avoidance. All forms of sexual contact that involve the exchange of body fluids should cease except with those partners trusted to be uninfected. The general precautions are now well-publicised. Don't have contacts with junkies, or homosexuals. Don't get involved with promiscuous, easy-lay sex partners. Wash the genitals before and after sex. Always use a protective condom. Don't allow any part of the body with even a slight wound into sexual contact.
It is true that some individuals and organisations who are of anti-permissive views have sought to exaggerate the risks of heterosexual promiscuity. Nevertheless, these risks do exist. The extent is uncertain, to be sure, but it is great enough to merit extreme caution. The fact is that when you have sex with someone, as far as AIDS is concerned, you are also having sex with everyone they've had sex with for the last ten years. That's how long the HIV could have lain dormant in them. Before you do it then, be sure you want to run that kind of risk.
What of the future?
The future is very bleak and worsening. At present estimates, within the coming decades up to one tenth of the population of the earth could become affected. One miserable little virus seems poised to achieve what centuries of gonorrhoea, syphilis, religion and social pressure between them could not. Arguably there must come either a drastic fall in promiscuity or a drastic fall in the population of the planet.
Final Comment: AIDS is, at present, such a dangerously spreading disease that all sexually active people should take all necessary protective precautions like wearing a condom for sex, all of the time. There are no exceptions.
The finest friend or the most fiendish foe of good sex. It depends mostly on the blood level though personal responses to alcohol tend to vary widely.
Sequence of alcohol effects:
As the blood alcohol rises, it first stimulates the central nervous system, while calming the inhibitions. A happier, confident attitude is established which is sexually potentially successful. There is an accompanying physical stimulation to assist this. Above a certain variable level, alcohol no longer stimulates but sedates the nervous system. Coarseness and clumsiness increase steadily to a point of eventual intoxication and anaesthesia. When sleep intervenes and blood alcohol falls again, it once more goes down through the stimulation levels. So, the sufferer wakes early, feels jittery, and has the hangover effects of stomach irritation, liver damage and brain poisoning to contend with.
Low concentration (in blood stream):
Raised heart and respiration rate
Talkativeness; relaxed emotions and inhibitions
Increased accuracy, stamina, performance
Makes/accepts sexual advances
Better at sex than usual
Tendency to get over-talkative and boisterous
Loudness and clumsiness
Abandoning of social restraints
Sexual skills impaired
Sexual impotence and frustration
Tendency to violence
Intoxicated, frequently disturbed sleep
1. The drinks with the least flavour and colour (white wines, vodka) give the greatest stimulation for the lowest cost in intoxication and hangover.
2. Dark and flavoursome drinks (red wines, whisky, brandy) have the highest hangover potentials.
3. To bring a party to an end, stiffen the drinks to pass-out level.
4. To keep a party going, water them (use other flavouring agents,.. bitters, fruit juices, spices).
5. The alcohol-and-sex rule is to keep your level about half way up the 'Low Concentration' and never above. If sex is anticipated don't drink (or give a partner) more than this.
6. Alcohol response varies with the individual, the rate of consumption, the surroundings (holidays, parties etc.) and what else is in the stomach.
7. A person will often use an allegedly raised blood alcohol as an excuse for doing unexpected things, while really being near enough sober.
8. Alcohol in anything but small quantities does increase the desire while taking away the performance. It can also remove the inhibitions from even deeper inhibitions. Normally repressed hatreds and violence are then released. A man or woman can become unrestrained and willing, but quite unable to perform or orgasm with resulting frustration and unpleasant consequences.
9. If you encounter these responses in self or partner, don't repeat them.
The section above is free-to-read.
To purchase the rest of the book please use the PayPal button on each book
[Price: £5 (GBP) or €7 (euros) or $8 (USD)]
email < [email protected] > giving your address and personal details.
The book will then be emailed direct to your Inbox.